Be Thou My Vision

I've started reading one of the books I hope to finish this year: Then Sings My Soul by Robert Morgan. It is a book of 150 stories related to or supporting a traditional hymn. One of my favorite hymns was originally written by an unknown Irish poet. Mary Elizabeth Bryne translated the poem into English in 1905. And according to Robert Morgan, Eleanor Hull of Manchester, England restructured the poem into verses. Soon afterward the verses were set to "Slane" - a traditional Irish folk song.

When one tries to peer into the future one finds that the past and present are filled with bombing & guns over Palestine and Israel, a war on terror in Iraq and Afghanistan, earthquakes and flooding, avalanches, bitter cold and deep snow fall in the United States, and economic troubles throughout the world. Many countries are battling drought, starvation, political unrest. In spite of these turbulent waters we, as believers in Christ, have an anchor, a rock, a stronghold to calm the sea. The boat may be rocking. The waves may be crashing. But when your stomach is troubled and nausea sets in...you need not worry. A veteran sailor always looks to a stable landmark when the waters are rough. So too do we.

No matter what the future brings may this hymn be my prayer. I pray too that your soul will be comforted and quieted. May you and I both keep our vision on the Lord in this world of change and chaos.

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart,
Naught be all else to me save that Thou art.
Thou my best thought by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word,
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord.
Thou my great Father, and I Thy true son,
Thou in my dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise,
Thou mine inheritance, now and always.
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of heaven, my treasure Thou art.

High King of heaven, my victory won,
May I reach heaven's joys, O bright heaven's Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

Resolutions or Goals?

What is the difference between a resolution and a goal? At this time of year it is inevitable that people will announce this or that resolution to start the New Year. They will make elaborate statements. They will strive in their minds to attempt to make a change in their habits, lifestyle or personality. They will rarely have a plan... and hence, most resolutions end up abandoned... the promised hopes a washed in vagueness, defeat, and failure.


Today I am posting a picture of my family. Although a year old it catches us at a time joy. My son had his piano recital in a historic home with beautiful gardens. So we took the opportunity to try to capture one of those elusive family photos. Every year it is one of my goals: to get us together wearing something presentable and everyone smiling. I know, it's a lot to ask. This was as close as we could get. Not perfect. But presentable.


I like to make goals. They help me to focus. I've learned over the years that my goals often do not get completed... they are usually too lofty. But that's OK. I've learned that it's OK to have unobtained goals as long as one is still on the road to getting there. I've found that it usually takes me about three times longer to accomplish something than I thought it would. Here are some of my goals for 2009. Yes, I know there are a lot of them. That's fine with me. In fact, there are many goals not written in this list. They too will be worked.


“Big Personal Goals”

Successful Farmer’s Market (i.e., make a profit!)
Set up banking account
Lay out growing plan and plots
Plan 2 hours everyday of weeding, pruning, maintaining (5-7 AM?)
Pick and clean vegetables and fruit Friday afternoon and pack truck
Purchase table, signs, pop-up tent
Pick fresh vegetables, fruit, eggs Saturday 5-6AM and pack truck
Leave by 7:15
Ledger books? Monitor time and materials
Music (hammered dulcimer, flute, guitar)
Practice 15 minutes 5 days a week on each?
Diet (healthy, balanced and whole)
Eat what you grow
Drink more water
Eliminate pop? (This could be hard... I really enjoy my Dr. Pepper)
Teaching (University and personal)
Complete teaching plans and PowerPoint slides for class
Grade papers at work – do not bring home!
Gardening
Flowers and fun
Mulch
Reading books (fun, educational and edifying)
Why the Universe Is The Way It Is (Hugh Ross)
Then Sings My Soul (Robert Morgan)
The Cell’s Design (Fuz Rana)
Who Made God? (Ravi Zacharias & Norman Geisler)
Quiet & Prayer Time
When? Where? What? This needs attention!
Clean home
De-Clutter! Take stuff to Salvation Army
File as it comes in
Clean as you go
Get the children involved
Organize
Train and play with Katie and Kapow


This list doesn't mention getting the other house ready for sale, painting the chicken coop, homeschooling the children during the summer, teaching them to swim, and many other things. So it is not comprehensive. That's okay. It's a start. And that is why resolutions...I mean, goals, are made.


"Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain." My prayer and hope is that these goals are His goals not mine. And if they are outside of His will then I hope and pray that they never get achieved. In fact, I hope that I am sensitive to His leading and remove them.

May you enjoy the end of the year and look forward with anticipation the coming of Spring and the New Year. Many happy goals....


Today's Journey Joy - making goals

Christmas Family

Merry Christmas! This year we ventured up to the "best state in the union". You know, Wisconsin. It is so beautiful. The drive was exciting and spectacular to behold. The bluffs of southwestern Wisconsin rose high above us as we traveled. We drove to my Dad's home. It had almost been 2 years since I had seen him and so when he called and asked if we could come up for Christmas I immediately made plans.


Uncle Dave was a big hit. My daughter clung to him and sat on his lap and tickled him. Our son never had someone tickle him so long and so often. They both commented, "I love Uncle Dave." Aren't uncles great? Every child should have one so tireless...

The Christmas celebration was heart warming for me. Spending time with my brother, two of my four sisters, and my Dad made Christmas special. Seeing my nieces (one with two children!) and remembering how many times I held them as babies and toddlers was neat as well. Eating ham, special cheesy mashed potatoes, green beans, fruit salad and crescent rolls brought to mind our family traditional meals. No fudge bottom pie though. We were given the responsibility for dessert and a refrigerated pie does not travel in the car for four hours very well. So we had super duper chocolate chip cookies and peppermint cookies. My aunt Sonija lovingly sent lefsa with my brother (Uncle Dave). Good memories. As a child we would wait plaintively at the dessert table eyeing the lefsa. Yum. We did the same as adults. Yum. As good as I remember. I will definitely have to learn how to make this dessert. It is part of my Norwegian heritage that I hope my children will also enjoy into their Christmas tradition.

We drove back home last evening... had to get here before the storm arrived. It was close but we got out of Wisconsin before the icy snow started to fall. Although it would have been fun to spend more time with my Dad, it was good to be in my own bed with my most wonderful husband and a ten year old boy who snuck into bed with us. Making our own memories aren't we?

Merry Christmas.


Today's Journey Joy: Christmas and family

Morning Snow

We are greeted today with wet fluffy beautiful snow. The weatherman says that the winds will soon blow and howl. But for now the snow drifts softly onto the branches, piling high. It is a lovely site. Especially from the warmth of our home.

Katie, our English Shepherd, wants to know why I don't play. Ah, my dear, chores await me. The usual morning chicken feeding, cat loving and puppy (yes, you Katie) petting are calling. Today the chickens get the broken Christmas cookies and the scraps from last evening's dinner. Also the fire needs pulling forward, dishes need washing, children need bathing. During the day we will be preparing for the festivities. Christmas Eve service. Practicing the flute duet. Wrapping the last presents. Packing for our trip to grandpa's home in Wisconsin. Time to play will have to wait my dear puppy. In the meantime play with your brother Kapow. Roll in the snow and frolic over the drifts. Catch snowflakes on your tongue. I will watch periodically and enjoy your wonder of life.

Today's journey joy: Playful snow

A Decade of Joy

A decade ago. How can it be? Does time really move so quickly? How can one moment he be a tiny little baby snuggled in my arms and the next be a boy of ten dressed in his favorite Keen clothes? It's his birthday. Ten. A decade old. And I tricked him. With candles that don't go out. It's the third time he's tried to extinguish these. "Mommy, are these trick candles?" Can't fool him.

He's grown to be a energetic, intelligent, reflective and contemplative young boy. Not much escapes his attention. He may appear to be in his own little world at times. But he's paying attention. I know. Later he'll say something related to what we were saying.

Never a dull moment. I remember when he was three. "Mommy, I don't understand calculus." Huh? What three year old even knows that there is a math concept such as calculus? "Mommy, I'm going to invent a time machine." Yes, I believe you could. "Mommy, when I grow up I want to be a baker." At 5 years old that was his dream. Today it is different. "Mommy, I want to be a computer programmer." He's already working on it. Daddy helps him. Soon they will be working together on Visual Basic. Will he grow to be a computer programmer? A baker? A scientist? A pastor? A musician? A farmer? A teacher? (He's always correcting my grammar mistakes). A researcher? An astrophysicist? He wants to develop a teleporter. Just yesterday he commented, "Mommy when I invent the teleporter would you like to be the first person to travel?" "Ahhh, no thanks son. I think I would like to be the 1000th person." He replies, "Yeah, perhaps I should practice with inanimate objects first. What if I develop a teleporter that transports just things?" "Oh son, I think you will put the UPS man out of business." "Just think" he replies, "You could order stuff on the computer and in moments it could be on your teleporter pad."

I remember when he was a tiny little baby. Daddy would sing to him and carry him endlessly in his arms. Every night I would sing him to sleep with, "The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make His face shine upon you. And give you peace. And give you peace. And give you peace forever." I would pray that God would mold this boy to be strong, courageous, sensitive to others and to Him." Perhaps one day my son will invent something amazing. Perhaps not. But amazing he is.

My first born son breathed his first breath on December 20th, 1998 at 12:24 in the morning after being two and half weeks late and after being induced 12 hours earlier. It was a rough beginning. Back labor for hours. Exhaustion. Tears. And suddenly a beautiful crying baby. An hour later we were all tucked into our beds and settled down. My wonderful husband in the guest bed, me in my hospital bed and our son in the bassinet between us. Finally some rest. We closed our eyes, breathed deeply, and "Whaaaa!" We looked at each other and laughed. It was just as friends had said. No rest for the weary. But it has definitely been a life of joy.

Thank you God for our son. Thank you God for Your Son. For without Jesus, "God with us", there would be no joy, no everlasting hope. Thank you.

Today's Journey Joy: First born son

Brrrrr... COLD bunny...hop,hop,hop

The snow is blowing... the temps are falling. How long has it been since we have had such a frigid day? The high was zero degrees Fahrenheit. Now it is back to minus two. The wind blows; the harsh sounds whip around the corners leaving drifts and snow dunes. Even the bunnies are too cold to come out and play. I dread having to go outside but the chickens and dogs beckon. They need food and water. Thankfully the chicken coop is insulated with a couple of heating lamps set on a thermostat. It's been 30 degrees in there for the past few hours. (We have a digital thermometer which transmits to the house.) Their water is probably frozen. I should go soon.

But this morning's musings at church have led me to ponder once again... just what were the surroundings of Jesus' birth? Why do we celebrate such a birthday? He came with such little pomp or circumstance. A young pregnant woman, a new husband, a farm stall. No room in the inn. No room anywhere. Was it cold? Was it snowing? Raining? Windy? Did God provide for His little one by using the warmth of animals to protect Jesus from the harsh cold of a birth outside?

We celebrated hope today. Jesus came to bring us hope. True hope. Without God becoming Emmanuel... without Jesus growing and learning... without His teaching and demonstration of love... without the Cross... without the resurrection... all would be cold and dead. We would be cold; we would be dead. Yet there is a Spring. There is hope.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now I'm found,
Was blind but now I see.

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear,
the hour I first believed.

My chains are gone, I've been set free,
My God, my Savior has ransomed me.
And like a flood His mercy reigns,
Unending love, Amazing Grace

The Lord has promised good to me,
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,
the sun forbear to shine.
But God who called me here below,
Will be forever mine,
Will be forever mine,
You are forever mine.

(John Newton, John P. Rees & Edwin Othello Excell; Chris Tomlin & Louie Giglio)

Today's Journey Joy: Hope

Celibacy by Compulsion

Brrr... the temperature is plummeting. Winter has arrived. The thermometer fell at 5:24 pm this evening. Throughout the day it was a balmy 26-28 degrees. At 5:24 the wind came rushing in with a roar. The coldest evening is upon us. -3 degrees Fahrenheit is cold no matter where you call home. Our poor black kitten "Blackie" seemed unaware of where his toasty warm home was. It was covered in snow. So in the snowy blizzard my husband and I ventured out into the drifting and blowing snow. I carried Blackie and walked him over to the igloo covered in mulch and snow. He was very happy to run in and meet his fellow kittens. He should stay warm now.

But that is not why I write tonight. Celibacy by compulsion has little to do with placing Blackie into his home. But it does have everything to do with our roosters. Due to their socially inappropriate behavior (attacking and breeding every hen they can get their beaks on) they have been placed in confinement.

Yesterday I went to the coop to find a poor hen pecked, de-feathered and dead in a nesting box. Those reproductive driven guys killed her. My heart sunk. I can not stand by and watch animals suffer. That was it. Something had to change. The roosters are too young to butcher but too old to hang out with the hens.

So we placed some chicken wire between some on the roosts. Now the roosters plaintively lust through the wire. Do I feel for them? Not really. In three weeks they are off to the poultry processor to fill our freezer. Strange how the thought of the rooster's demise doesn't seem to bother me... well, with the exception of one of them. Mr. Rooster will be replaced this culling. He's still less than a year old and should be still good for the stew pot. But he was our first rooster and we have many fond and not so fond memories of him.

But alas, the boys will have to be content looking through the wire. They have been placed in solitary confinement pending their "sentence". Meanwhile, the hens are at peace. There is no more screeching for help from the defenseless hen. And hopefully there will be no more suffering deaths.

Tonight we are pleased that the chickens are safe, the kittens are in their igloo, the dogs... well they're still running around outside... eventually they will snuggle up into their igloo and keep warm as well. We are warm, fed and content. It's time to cuddle together read a good book and drink some hot chocolate.

Today's Journey Joy - separated chickens

Pounding

I did it. It's been a long road. But I finally did it. I pounded the final grade into the university computer this morning. My semester course work is finished. No more grading papers, writing tests, preparing presentations, entering scores. The Fall 2008 semester is done. What a relief.

I remember when I was a student (many years ago) when I thought "Sure, Professor so-and-so gives us all this work and she (he) only has to grade it..." Whine, whine, whine. Now being on the other side.... well we "professors" whine, whine, whine about it as well. But really there is a lot more that goes into teaching at the university level than it might appear. I've been doing this now full time for 2 1/2 years. "They" say the third year is when it starts to get a little easier. Really? It was a lot easier when I was an adjunct. Prepare the class, give the class, give the test, grade the test. Done. Being full time requires meetings, meetings and more meetings. And many more academic duties.

The course load is heavier and the sense of responsibility for the ultimate program weighs heavily on me at times. These students will one day have a professional degree. The information and concepts they learn today will impact not only their future but the future of their clients (may be even me!). Have I bestowed in them a sense of wonder? Can they marvel at how amazing the human body was made? Do they see the grotesqueness of disease and pathology? The foreignness... the unright-ness of it? Have they caught the passion and joy of caring for people holistically? Physically, socially, emotionally, mentally and spiritually? Have I modelled compassion, empathy, competence, and professionalism? Are they excited about their future role? Do they see it as a job or a ministry?

Solomon once wrote: "...Of making many books there is no end, and much study is a weariness of the flesh." (Ecclesiastes 12:12) My students would probably agree. Perhaps I would as well.

But today instead of weariness I will chose joy. Today I will ponder my questions and gaze at the woodpecker. I'll drink my coffee and savor the cookies I finally was able to bake. I will clean the dining room and wash the floor. I'll rock in the chair and read the Word. I'll play my flute and peacefully rest. Yes, studying is a weariness. But Solomon goes on to summarize... "Fear God, and keep his commandments; for that is the whole duty of everyone." (Ecclesiastes 12:13)

Today's Journey Joy: final grades

Laying in the Thorns

Eggs... aren't they supposed to be in the nesting box? I found these this summer in my raspberry patch. Mrs. Hen had found a nice cozy, secure place to lay her eggs. No wonder our egg count was low. She wasn't broody. She didn't keep them warm. She didn't protect them. Eventually they would get old, develop sufficient gas, and break (explode) with a nasty (sulfur smelling) odor. All that work... with no benefit. If she had laid them in the nesting box they would have at least gone to some one's table. Laid here they are good for little. (Well... actually I did the "egg test" and only seven had to be thrown away into the compost heap. The rest my family ate.)

I am wondering.... do I hide my "eggs" in a seemingly safe and beneficial spot? Am I harboring them... keeping them... using my time and energies and abilities well? Or am I like Mrs. Hen? Doing what seems natural and good? But in fact it is not. Will my "work" find it's way onto the compost bin or explode with a nasty smell?

I find lately that I am in a place in life where self evaluation is needed. Are my chosen activities and priorities the ones that will eventually lead me (my life) to joy and peace? Are they consistent with the truth? Are my short term goals leading to the ultimate goal of a life that has been God glorifying? Do I really follow the paths that direct me to His pleasure? Does God see my choices and say "I've made this wonderful cozy nesting box for you, why are you laying in the thorns?" Am I laying "my eggs" in hidden corners and dead end roads? Will my energies and passions result in superfluous activity and result in smelly compost? Or will they be jewels in a crown? "Well done" is what I long to hear.

"You show me the path of life. In your presence there is fullness of joy; in your right hand are pleasures forevermore." (Psalm 16: 11)

Today's Journey Joy: reflections

The winter coop

Chicken

Known for its feather and wings and legs,

The chicken lays eggs and eggs and eggs!

Known for the comb atop its crown,

The chicken lays eggs of white and brown.

Known for its strut when taking a walk,

The chicken lays eggs! Ba-a-awk! Ba-a-awk!
Meish Goldish

We built our chicken coop this summer.... should have been spring. Like many of our "good" plans we should have started earlier. The baby chickens came in early April. They were so cute and fluffy. We put them in the basement with two heat lamps, a chick waterer and a baby chick feeder. They grew... and grew... and grew. They ate and ate and ate. They chirped and chirped and...clucked. And all that time they deposited droppings after droppings after droppings (did I mention they were in my basement?) Eleven (yes, I said eleven) weeks later the coop was finally finished. Well, not quite. We hadn't finished insulating the roof or putting the sheathing on the ceiling. But it was close enough.

We had built in it in front of the garage so it would be close to all the tools. So the great moving day was exciting. My husband somehow attached a big chain around the coop and I drove the tractor. The coop slid beautifully in its skids. Eventually we put sturdy railroad ties under the coop and set the windows.

How did I know it was moving day? The chickens found out they could walk up stairs. When the first rooster entered my kitchen I said, "That's it! Either outside or off with your head!" They opted for outside. And found they liked it out there much better. (After many days of scrubbing and disinfecting the basement eventually got cleaned...never again will baby chickens live in my house).

Today it is snowing. The coop is snug and warm. In fact, the outside temperature is 28 degrees but the coop is 51 degrees. The chickens do not like the snow. Probably too unpredictable... blowing here and there. Pelting them from above. So I don't even open the door... it just makes their home cold.

I never finished painting the coop. It's primed (mostly) but I never had (or made) the time to finish it. Ah... something to do when spring arrives. In the meantime I will enjoy their wonderful brown eggs and their funny antics.

Today's Journey Joy: warm and toasty chicken coop

Tucked in

Two weeks ago, before the big first snows, I was able to tuck the bees in for the winter. We had a relatively warm day (45 -50 degrees) and sunny. The eleven hives needed some attention before the cold of winter arrived. I quickly opened each one, placed a medium empty super on the two deeps, placed a piece of newspaper or thin cardboard on the top of the frames and poured 4-5 cups of granulated sugar on the cardboard. This technique allows for excess humidity to be absorbed on the sugar and cardboard and gives the bees some food if their honey stores run low during the winter. The next time we have a break in the cold (about a couple months from now) I will check on them again and probably add more sugar to some. This technique worked very well last year - 100% survival rate into the spring. I'm hoping for at least 50%. Some of the hives don't look as strong as I would have liked them to be at the end of the summer.

I'm wishing today that I could be "tucked in." I am tired from the never-ending work... at least that's how it feels. Everyone seems to have desires for my time and energy. My plate is full.... but cracking under pressure. Too much is piled high and there are few energy stores to tap. I wish that the house was clean, the laundry done (including the ironing), the garage empty of the things that need to go back to the shed, the papers graded, the scores tabulated, the final exams given, and every student successful at the university. I wish that the Christmas program had every part assigned and all the music picked out and practiced. I wish that the senior pastor search committee was making some decisions. I wish that there was more time to play board games and do needlepoint. I wish I could find space for my new scroll saw. I wish that the chicken coop cleaned itself... perhaps my children's rooms as well. I wish....

The beehive appears restful. In fact much is going on in there... if only we could see it. The quietness of the outside activity is not reflective of the inside activity. The bees are busy keeping warm and dry. They must keep their numbers high enough in order to make it through the long cold winter. Occasionally, on a warm day a few will come out and fly. "Cleansing flights" they are called. But today when the snow blows and it is cold... well, they are bundled up into a cluster generating heat... surviving.

So like the bees I will generate heat and survive. My wish list does not get done by me writing. But it does get prioritized. I'm thankful for this journaling today.

Journey Joy: Wishes

Red sky at night...

The old nautical saying states red sky in morn; sailor be warned. Red sky at night; sailor's delight. Well I'm not about to do any sailing.... something about the water being hard enough to walk on.... not very conducive to boating or sailing. But the red sky is beautiful. It has been a cold, blustery and snowy day today. My daughter's school closed 2 hours early and her Christmas program scheduled for tonight was postponed. But as you can see the weather is improving. The clouds have departed and the sun is shining (if ever so briefly). As I write this the sun has set and night has come. The winter wind is howling and the outdoor wood furnace is smoking trying to keep up with the demands my warm-loving family is placing on it. The dogs are still enjoying the snow and the six or seven cats have found the "igloo" we buried in the mulch pile to keep them warm on cold windy nights like this.

I should be making supper... or any of a hundred other things.... but looking at the sunset and sky from the comforts of our cozy little warm living room was comforting. I am oh-so-thankful for the blessings we have been given. New thinsulate coveralls with a great attached hood, a tractor with a super snowblade, a wood burning furnace with a huge supply of ready fuel all stacked up next to it, children playing together, and promises of a yet-to-be-made supper to fill our tummies.... these are blessings and joys. May you too find some joy in the sunsets around you this evening.

Today's Journey Joy - blessings of warm hearts, rooms and tummies