Glades and Growing

What a great year for growing.  The rains come at least weekly and the temperatures have been warm but not oppressive.  The corn is growing wildly; the potatoes fattening out.  I think I will dig a few up tomorrow (well, actually Farmer husband Gary will dig them up since I'm currently not supposed to do such things post surgery).  There's nothing like new potatoes.  Sweet, soft and flavorful.  Throw some fresh green beans, a savory onion on the side and any meat dish and what a feast!

I perused the farm today during a very slow careful walk.  Weeds everywhere and many would-be crops choking in their midst.  The beans and pumpkins which I planted before I left for surgery are growing nicely.  Raspberries filling and still more blooming.  The honey bees love them.  The onions are buried in purslane weed but somehow filling out and getting big.  Broccoli has started flowering.  And my neighbor graciously picked the few blueberries in the field for me.  A few sun flowers and zinneas are poking their heads out from their weed competitors.  And lastly, the hoophouse tomatoes and peppers need watering...their growth slow due to dehydration.  I think I've finally come to the realization:

I am not farming this year.

Unless I feel better and get stronger soon I will not be going to the farmers market either.

Parts of me are relieved.  Some of me is frustrated with the waste.  And some just wants to press on.

I am not farming this year.

I will put out the pumpkins in September and October (not me, but my super helpers).  Yet, I will not be farming.

But I am already planning.

I know.  I have a long way yet to go in this cancer road.  But I am currently standing.... actually resting in a glade with speckled sunlight, soft breezes, and aromatic flowers.  A place in my journey where I can breathe deeply.  Soak in the warmth and beauty of my surroundings and rest.  Rest.  Yes I know there is still a long journey ahead..... surgery, radiation, Herceptin infusions, testing, reconstruction.... but I find myself, in these past couple of days holding on to the possibility that I will complete this journey... and begin yet another.

It is not the end.

Today's Journey Joys:  ripe red raspberries, showers, taco pie, muscles that seem a little stronger, a little less painful.  Farmer husband Gary fixing the starter on the dump truck. Three more days until these surgical drains come out!