A recap of surgical memories

It's a foggy memory now.  Getting ready to travel to Mayo and somehow preparing for a surgery I knew would be life changing.  Farmer husband Gary following me around that morning with a camera wherever I went.  

Me and my fuzzy wuzzy hairs trying to get directions from Mapquest to my friend Kathy's home.

We were to travel to Kathy's home and meet her there since she was already 30 minutes going in the right direction.  Oh, Kathy... a caretaker and friend like none other.  She and I and her tired college nursing student daughter drove to Rochester that Sunday afternoon, now three weeks ago.  It was a pleasant quick journey.  Thank you dear friend! Again!

Throw a wig on right before we left and I looked quite different.  But the eyes and expression certainly communicate.... 

Kathy drove me to my pre-surgical appointments and waited during the long echocardiogram.... she drove me to the hospital in the morning and stayed with me until the staff sent her away.  She prayed with me and laughed with me and encouraged me. Even as I was getting on the elevator to go to the operating room, she slipped on the elevator with us and smiled the whole way.

I don't remember much else about the surgery and the day.  A lot of people asked a lot of questions.  The plastic surgeon came in and joked and smiled and drew all over me with pretty colors.  We jested about "the 5 minute mastectomy" since I had lost so much weight and I had no breasts or bottom left.  I recall he mentioned something about a "Brazilian butt lift".... but the details are not quite clear.  I was wheeled into the OR suite pretty quick after that and then asked to wiggle over to the table....which I recall as not quite as comfortable as the gurney I was previously in.  There had to be 7-10 people in there....all dressed in blue. The anesthesiologist said, "I'm going to give you some Fentanyl and....(I can't remember).... and I responded, "Well, that oughta do the trick." She replied, "Yeah, you won't remember much after this..." and in fact, I don't.  I only remember a feeling.... a surge of powerlessness.  "Take good care of me...."  "We will.... "

And the next thing I remember is being in the recovery room having difficulty opening my eyes.  I can still hear the beeps and see the lights and blips.  The sounds of people to and fro.  The surgeon coming in briefly and saying "There was no cancer in the breast....and the lymph nodes....well they looked ugly, but there was no cancer in them either."  And I slept.  With a smile.

When I was ready to go to my room, a young nurse accompanied me.  He was very kind and helpful.  After he and another nurse escorted me (walking!) to my comfortable bed, as he was leaving he looked at me and said, "I will be praying for you tonight."  What comforting words.  And more encouragement.

Kathy and her daughter Carrie stayed until quite late that evening....but I just kept falling asleep...well, and trying not to heave ( a little upset and nauseated tummy I'm afraid)....  but I rested and rested.  The night was interrupted with medications and assessments and apparently my heart rate kept going too low (40 or so) and so they called in the poor cardiac resident to check on me (I was fine).  And then morning came.

And so did Gary's dad and sister.  They brought beautiful flowers, fresh fruit, and warm and lovely words and prayers.  It was amazing to me that they would travel hours and hours to see me for so short of time.  My heart is filled by their love.

Lisa and Ralph the morning after my surgery.

I was discharged not long after that.  Kathy gently drove me to Carrie and Ray's where Carrie had gotten the recliner chair from downstairs all set up in the living room in case I wanted to watch TV or see outside.  It was grand.  And again I slept....

Eventually Kathy and Ray and Carrie and company all left for their respective cabins in northern Wisconsin (God's country).  And Debi, my dear friend became my caretaker and tummy filler. She drove all the way up by herself, did laundry, fed me, kept me company, laughed and cried with me..... for days.  At times I think my fragileness and discomfort overwhelmed her....the drains and dressing changes... a challenge. Yet she did a fabulous job.  And introduced me to smoothies.... how come I've never had one of these wonderful things before?  And she added protein powder in them to help me heal faster.

A week later, after several appointments and confirmation that the chemotherapy had indeed eliminated what could be seen in the post-surgical pathology slides, we drove home.  A long difficult journey for me as every bump seemed to be magnified. But we made it home around 8:30 in the evening.  And no one was there.  The family was at the chess club.  So I made my bed in my own Lazy Boy recliner and rested.... and rested.

I'm physically getting better.  The incisions are looking great.  The drain lines and dressings removed.  The process of tissue expansion underway.  And my hair is sort of coming in.... it's a brown color so far. Strange....I've been a dark blond my entire life....

Dalmatian and I.  The beginning of my hair coming in.

I don't feel right though.

"Why are you cast down O my soul and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God." (Psalm 42:5)

Today's Journey Joys: air conditioning on a super hot and humid summer day, fresh cucumbers from the field, gifts of love, Ally laughing, upcoming doctor visits, sharing of good news, prayers for new and old friends, Bryce's good prognosis, honey harvest coming up soon....