Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Raining inside and out

The potatoes are bursting through the soil.  The tiny popcorn rows are discernible. The onions reaching tall and green while their friends the garlic fattened and branch.  We received about an inch of rain to our dry spring soil.  Very needed for, well, for, just about everything.  I had tried to do some weeding around the raspberries yesterday but the ground was so hard all I did was club the soil to death.

Today it is cloudy, windy and chilly.  A 25 degree temperature drop since yesterday.  And today was round 3 of A/C chemo.  What can I say?  It feels like a long trek.  And I am tired.  My dear friend Kathy stopped for a brief visit during the infusion.  She brought us yummy tuna fish dinner (Thank you Kathy!) and chocolate chocolate chip cookies.  Sure to make the family happy.

I cried crocodile tears after she left. Raining on my inside and leaking out. I so just needed someone to tell me this was going to be OK.  That I will make it through this round....yet again....and...and... I just don't know.  Probably just over tired.

"In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." (Psalm 4:8)

Today's Journey Joys:  thoughtful and competent nurses, an infusion room to myself, friends and their amazing ways to show love and care, plants that are growing.

Melancholy

I shouldn't write when I'm feeling like this.  Emotionally fragile and oscillating between tears, fears, and frustration.  Yet ...