Wednesday, April 9, 2014

The words do not come...

I'm back home.



On Monday I drove four and a half hours to Rochester to have an echocardiogram, an oncology check up, and three consultations with surgeons and radiation folks.  My head is spinning.

My heart is physically fine.  And so I can continue with the therapy.  A most amazing relief.

Surgery is tentatively scheduled for July 1st.  Bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction.  Plastics doc says I don't have enough fat on my body to use "me" to reconstruct so I have to go with implants.  Radiation follows four weeks after surgery.  Radiation and reconstruction are not good bed fellows. My homework?  To find out if the local radiologists can do some technique called "breath hold radiation".  It is supposed to reduce the exposure of radiation to the heart (and lungs) especially for left sided breast cancers.

I missed my family dearly.  My husband, my son, and my daughter. Even the cats.  I am so grateful  to be home.

I have much to consider.  Deeply thoughtful and reflective.  The Journey seems to be taking a turn....

Today's Journey Joys: journey mercies, strawberries growing, chickens cacklin', warm windy day, food prepared in the refrigerator (thanks Burt!).

Melancholy

I shouldn't write when I'm feeling like this.  Emotionally fragile and oscillating between tears, fears, and frustration.  Yet ...