It was when I looked down to see the soap bubbles swirl between my toes. There. It was just a little one. But there within, or against, or upon the shower curtain was a perfect little rainbow. It was dark outside. The little shower glass block window black without a glimmer. The only light a little night light across the room. But there it was nonetheless.
The shower has lately warmed me when my flesh refused to. Standing with the just-barely-able-to-tolerate hot water pouring over me was delightful. "Oh, finally....warm". The night was sleep interrupted. Ally-girl coughing, feverish, and moaning in her sleep. Ibuprofen, water, and a cover up to the rescue. And I dose back to sleep wondering how to manage the morning's needs. It was week 2 of taxol today. The temperature was 0 degrees Fahrenheit and the wind was gusting up to 30+ mph. Another cold day. And Ally was sick. I have no one to watch a sick girl. But I have to go to chemo. And obviously I couldn't take her with me.
Contemplating my decision to keep my young man home from school, the warmth of the hot shower finally penetrates my cold. "Everyone will have to make adjustments," I reassure myself. But I am concerned about his academics and work load. He has much on his school plate: learning two languages (Chinese and Spanish), pre-calculus, science, world history, world literature and taking a college course. Missing class would be difficult.
I'm still ruminating my decision when the little rainbow glimmers against the shower curtain. "Oh! Look!" I instruct myself, as if deep thoughts separated me from my abilities to perceive. "Promises. The rainbow is a reminder of promises."
I have been remembering promises. Clinging to, drawing strength from. I have been remembering.... God is faithful and true, a very present help in time of trouble. He does not leave us. He is with us. With me. With - as in within, throughout, before, after, and beside. "God's promises." Indeed a very present help. Provider of peace. Source of grace and joy. The rainbow seems to smile.
Today's Journey Joys - little tiny rainbow promises on a cold dark morning, friends making scrumptious meals - a kindness so amazing, warm heat, pleasant nurses, uneventful and sleepy chemotherapy, chatting with friends, gooey Aquafor for chapped Ally faces, courage to comment on someone's blog whom I do not know.
