The only thing I want to do well is to do and be in God’s
will.
Nothing else really matters.
God’s will, regardless of where it leads. Regardless of the path, the obstacles, or the
distance.
To do God’s will well.
And this part of my life, in God’s will, there is breast
cancer. And as much as I do not like it,
as much as I never truly imagined myself walking this road…. It is the road I
am on.
Others have different roads.
Some so terrifying I tremble. Some
so beautiful I laugh with joy. Some long, methodical, patient and gentle. Some quick and bumpy, like spring waters
noisily cascading over breaking ice shards.
I’m on the fifty-something, mother-of-two-exceptional-teenagers,
wife-to-a-wise-husband-and-counselor, small-fruit-and-vegetable-hard-working-farmer,
graduate-professor, lover-of-green-and-colorful-warmth-and-flowers Road. I’m on the how-real-and-sincere-and-tangible-is-your-faith
Road? The Road with golden retriever shedding-like hair, dry itchy skin,
gastrointestinal disturbances, emotional lability, and interrupted sleep. The Road of unknown surgeries, unknown side
effects, unknown abilities, unknown disabilities…and unknown future.
There comes a time in a journey, especially a long journey,
when it seems like the only way one can continue is to focus on that next
step. Lift foot. Stretch forward. Place foot.
Repeat. It may happen early. It may occur unpredictably. And although I understand that this
fundamental movement is sometimes necessary – I don’t just want to endure the journey. I want to embrace it.
Again, to do this… to do God’s will…. well.
How does one do that in the midst of weekly chemotherapy,
side effects, blood work, and doctor visits?
In routine chores, car driving, children’s frenetic schedules, professional
responsibilities, and life’s demands?
When one is suddenly and painfully aware of the steep bumpy road around
her and the sore but calloused feet trudging down the path? This journey is different. It isn’t
surrounded by calm babbling brooks, wide paths, and clear blue skies. Unlike when
life’s journey is predictable and calm, I must purposefully focus where to set
my feet.
I keep coming back to I Thessalonians 5:16-18. “Rejoice
always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s
will for you in Christ Jesus.”
How can I be in God’s will on this particular Journey?
Rejoice. Pray. Give
thanks.
Each rooted in God’s indescribable grace.
Sounds like an excellent walking song.....
Todays' Journey Joys: fluffy light snowfall, father-and-son robotics trip, deep green baby spinach with fresh cut aromatic strawberries, clean flannel sheets, Wii exercise with Ally, baptism weekend at church- witnessing transformation.
