Cold IS A Relative Thing

The following is a short little essay about cold. On a day when we've been in single digits and I'm tired of the cold, it made me laugh. It was sent to me by a friend from work who happens to also be from the best state in the union (Wisconsin!).

COLD IS A RELATIVE THING

65 above zero: Floridians turn on the heat. People in Wisconsin plant gardens.
60 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Wisconsin sunbathe.
50 above zero: Italian & English cars won't start. People in Wisconsin drive with the windows down.
40 above zero: Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. People in Wisconsin throw on a flannel shirt.
35 above zero: New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Wisconsin have the last cookout before it gets cold.
20 above Zero: People in Miami all die. Wisconsinites close the windows.
Zero: Californians fly away to Mexico . People in Wisconsin get out their winter coats.
10 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl Scouts in Wisconsin are selling cookies door to door.
20 below zero: Washington DC runs out of hot air. People in Wisconsin let the dogs sleep indoors.
30 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Wisconsinites get upset because they can't start the Snow-mobile.
40 below zero: ALL atomic motion stops. People in Wisconsin start saying...'Cold enough fer ya?'
50 below zero: Hell freezes over. Wisconsin public schools will open 2 hours late.